Hello Beautiful,
Do you feel frustrated with trying to get thru to men? To inspire and motivate them, to help them see your point of view? Well… you are not alone? Working and communicating with men has never been more challenging than today. In the West. And especially for You. Why? Because you are Smart and Successful. And NO, men are not afraid of Successful women. On the contrary, an Alpha man will always enjoy a great challenge, to concur YOU. But will not consider you a long term relationship material.
I am so glad you decided to stop by. Read on… there are no coincidences in life.
This is a blog for Smart Women. If you are a part of this group, most likely you consider yourself Sassy, Savvy, and Successful. And this is exactly the problem when it comes to your relationships with men. The reason you find it hard to get through to men and get what you want from them is the following: As women, when we grew professionally and embraced career and business, we lost our ability to relate, or even care about men.
Let me explain.
A Man is a different kind of animal. As much as we want to believe and push for equality, we can not ignore the facts: Nature built men and women different. And for a reason. On a pure basic survival level, men and women are different, for the purpose of survival, e.g. procreation of the species. Men have a stronger body and a single focused mind, in order to be able to protect and hunt (e.g. provide for the family). Women are more intuitive, sensitive and have the ability to “read” the mood of the environment, in order to be able to raise children. And these are qualities required for survival. Yes, these are not weaknesses, they are not defects. When men ignore you, it is not because they do not care. They are single-focused, remember? Therefore, a man can only focus on one thing at a time, and if he is already watching TV, yes you guessed it – the TV is that “one thing”, and you become the second one, the one he can not see or hear. It is his nature, his single focus is a “factory built” feature, given to men in order to be able to hunt. At his core, a man is a hunter. So if he is ignoring you, while working on a project, or even watching a soccer game… he is operating exactly as per “the specs”… there is nothing wrong with him. Frustrating, right?
Fast forward to today, and we no longer understand how men are built by nature. As a matter of fact, we don’t understand ourselves, as we have been subjected to conscious propaganda telling us to be more “like the men”. Therefore, it is no longer cool to be emotional, patient, caring and loving. We evolved and embraced masculine qualities in order to fit into the business world, so we are more assertive, driven and ambitious. And we expect men to also exhibit more feminine characteristics as well, and some do… but many do not. And these types of men are the ones we want an intimate relationship with, the men who still show up as, well… MEN. Yet, we are at a loss of how to make them move, how to talk to them, so they will listen and how to make them vested in our vision of the “relationship bliss”. Because the truth is… they are so different from us, and motivated by a completely different set of values, which frankly, we as women, do not understand and often find ridiculous. Let’s explore some natural motivation triggers for men:
- Appreciation: Women get moved by criticism, but men don’t. Criticizing a man has the opposite effect, as they feel unappreciated, and quit altogether. The way to motivate men is thru appreciation.
- Respect: If you want to kill your relationship, ridicule and humiliate your man… in public. Yes, men need respect more than love. Feeling loved makes them feel good, but feeling respected makes a man grow taller and stronger, and this is what he needs as a man to thrive and be successful in life.
- Being the Hero: Men need to feel needed. When a woman is vulnerable and in need of help, it triggest the Hero instinct in a man (and yes, they all have this in common, remember it is part of the specs for the specimen called a MAN. This is a natural call all men possess inside, to provide and care for the weak. It literally makes a man know himself as a strong and powerful being. But for that “being” to come out, he needs to be invited… by You. Drop the independence mask, relax and let men take care of your natural needs, as a woman.
Makes sense? Of course, it does. You are smart, and this is why I am talking to you… You get this. Now let’s go and practice. Have some fun with these insights and share your successes with us – this is how we learn and grow as women. For more relationship tips and to end your frustrations with men, join the Instaglam Club, where women like you and me, Sassy, Savvy and Successful hang out and support each other… together we make this world a better place for all.
Share your thoughts with us in the Instaglam Club for a chance to win a trip with Massimo and Daniela in Italy.
Massimo and Daniela are the creators of “Wines and Castles” – exotic vacations for couples who wish to experience the beauty and extravagance of the noble lifestyle while creating a deeper bond in their relationship. Occasionally, Daniela and Massimo offer trips for Single Successful women, looking for a week away to pamper their spirit and learn to attract the man that they desire. Visit www.LaBellaVitaLifestyle.com for information on upcoming events and to book your spot.
