Nothing, if you are a Woman, and Everything, if you are a Man. How so?
Well, we don’t mean to burst your bubble. But wait a minute… Valentine’s Day is the most Romantic day of the year, right? What could possibly be wrong with that?
Read on to find out why Valentine’s Day is the worst time to expect Romance from a Man. And NO, it’s not because men are not romantic by nature… actually, men are hugely romantic.. but Romance is a spontaneous act for men, and Valentine’s day is just the opposite of what a man needs to kick into a “Romance mode”.
If you have read our previous posts, you will know by now that men, unlike women, are internally motivated – men act when they feel compelled by duty or inspired in the spur of the moment. The good news is that nature built men and women in perfect harmony, and often what inspires men is YOU… Yes, the Woman of Their Heart can inspire men to bigger and better things in life, literally to move mountains, just to see the appreciation and the adoration in their woman’s eyes.
What does Valentine’s day have to do with it? A lot. If men act when compelled by duty, or inspired in the spur of a moment – which one do you think it is that moves them to act on Valentine’s day? Yes, you guessed it right – compelled by duty and obligation. How Romantic is that, right?
Our point here is this: Valentine’s day is the worst time for a man for these two reasons:
- He has to produce results on demand – he cannot be spontaneous, as he is expected to be Romantic on this one specific day, and on top of it… out-perform last year’s results;
- He has HUGE competition out there – no matter how hard he tries, there will be another man, who did better (and ladies, let’s be honest, we are really good at letting him feel the pain of coming just a little too short to impress us)
Where does this leave us, Ladies? Are we just supposed to forget about Valentine’s day and pretend that we are not disappointed and hurt with the fact that our man isn’t working hard enough to show us LOVE on Valentine’s day? Well, the choice is yours – you can just accept men as they are, or try to mold them into something else – which in the long run doesn’t work, as we know. But here are a few suggestions that may make his Valentine’s day a little more exciting and leave YOU feeling APPRECIATED and LOVED.
- Allow him to decide on how his Love is expressed and show your appreciation, for his effort, even if the results are a little short of what you have hoped for;
- Tell him that being WITH HIM is the GIFT… this takes the pressure off a man… and he is much more likely to feel Romantic with You;
- Create your own Valentine’s day that is special for the two of you and does not necessarily fall on the national/international “Romance day.”
To allow men to succeed (which is how they play – men play to win and score points), you need to relax the expectations and allow Valentine’s day to just happen spontaneously. In my experience of being with a man who is hugely romantic, the less I expect of him, the more he comes up with amazing romantic surprises, on the spur of a moment… and this is the best and the only way for a man to be authentically Romantic.
Makes sense? Of course, it does. You are smart, and this is why I am talking to you… You get this. Now let’s go and practice. Have some fun with these insights and share your successes with us – this is how we learn and grow as women. For more relationship tips and to end your frustrations with men, join the Instaglam Club, where women like you and me, Sassy, Savvy and Successful hang out and support each other… together we make this world a better place for all.
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Massimo and Daniela are the creators of “Wines and Castles” – exotic vacations for couples who wish to experience the beauty and extravagance of the noble lifestyle while creating a deeper bond in their relationship. Occasionally, Daniela and Massimo offer trips for Single Successful women, looking for a week away to pamper their spirit and learn to attract the man that they desire. Visit www.LaBellaVitaLifestyle.com for information on upcoming events and to book your spot.