You are a Smart Woman. Sassy, Savvy and Successful? No doubt you’ve got the smarts and all the evidence to prove it – several degrees, professional accomplishments, sophisticated job title and possibly an array of impressive business results. The question is – are you smart when it comes to Men. Chances are if you are reading this, Success is not what’s lacking in your life. Instead, you may often find yourself with the wrong man, or even worse – fall head over hills for your perfect match, just to find out he is not that much into you. Ouch – If this is YOU, then read on, the answers may surprise you or even bother you a bit, yet will most definitely point you in the right direction.
But first, take a deep breath and relax. It is not your fault. If this sounds familiar, and it is NOT the reality you wish to experience anymore – you are at right place. You too can have the relationship of your dreams. However, if you grew up in the west, you will need to consider a very different approach when it comes to men. It is not something that you would have learned at school, and your own mother most likely didn’t have the answers either.
Let us dismiss the first misconception that most western women face when it comes to dating and men – Success is NOT your strongest quality, and as a matter of fact, it could be the very reason why it is so hard to make relationships work. You see, Success requires a set of qualities, including determination, perseverance, decision-making, strong sense of direction and purpose. All good qualities to have in Business, which will do nothing for your relationship, however. And frankly, a man who is successful, purposeful and determined himself, couldn’t care less about your successes and is looking for a very different set of qualities in a woman like you.
Got your interest piqued? Ok, let’s dive into it.
The attraction between a man and a woman is energy, and it works based on a very simple Universal law called Polarity – The Opposites Attract. Think of two magnets, is it possible to bring them together? NO. Well, attraction works the same way – if you wish to attract a man who is independent, successful and strong, these are the very qualities that you need to relinquish in yourself, in the presence of men.
Easy right? Not so, especially if you have been brought up in the west, where you pride yourself on being self- sufficient, independent and strong. Chances are, the very qualities that you value most in yourself, are what messes up with your ability to attract the Love that you seek. And if Success is on the list, it is very likely that you make this one very common mistake with men:
YOU PURSUE MEN
Yes, that’s right. You may not even be aware of it, or on the contrary, you may pride yourself on being the Hunter when it comes to Love. If you are used to being on the go, and getting the job done, most likely you will be tempted to take your go-getter attitude into the dating game – so you will call (message) after a date, you will schedule appointments and places to go, and so on. Some women will go as far as approaching a man at the bar and offering a drink. While this will signify power when the roles are reversed, it actually diminishes your power as a woman, especially if you are hoping to meet a high profile man.
After studying anthropology and the hunter-gatherer behavior for decades, scientists have proof that the animal instinct in humans is driving certain behaviors that are outside of our consciousness level. Interestingly, in spite of our evolution as species, men are still hunters at heart, and instinct will drive them to pursue the woman they want. Importantly, they are also to get a higher satisfaction from pursuing a woman who is impossible or very hard to get. Similar to the hunting game, difficult-to-acquire animals, e.g. women, signal to men proof of their power and strength, and it provides a way for them to accrue status. And status is universally important for men to ward off competition and succeed in life.
Where does this leave us when it comes to dating and love? Well, since instinct is felt in the body and it drives behavior that we are not even aware of, men are naturally attracted to the women that they perceive slightly out of their league. If a woman is too available, or even worse, chasing a man, he will never see her as the “Trophy” that is worth pursuing. I know in an effort to assert your independence you may be tempted to throw this basic “natural law” away, yet this will most certainly kill your chances of romance.
In a nutshell, refrain from going after the men you desire, not only it doesn’t work, but you end up diminishing your value as a woman (e.g the Trophy) in his eyes. Besides, the men who will agree to be pursued and be your “catch” are the ones who will disappoint you in the long run, as they are lacking the strong masculine core that is responsible for man’s confidence and commitment. A man (the animal inside) is wired to hunt, it is an instinct, not a choice, and if a man is truly powerful and in touch with himself that instinct will make him pursue you – if you are worth the effort, of course. Allow him to take on the lead. Your job is to be the Trophy that is worth the effort, and let him hunt for You.
Makes sense? Of course, it does. You are smart, and this is why I am talking to you… You get this. Now let’s go and practice. Have some fun with these insights and share your successes with us – this is how we learn and grow as women. For more relationship tips and to end your frustrations with men, join the Instaglam Club, where women like you and me, Sassy, Savvy and Successful hang out and support each other… together we make this world a better place for all.
Share your thoughts with us in the Instaglam Club for a chance to win a trip with Massimo and Daniela in Italy.
Massimo and Daniela are the creators of “Wines and Castles” – exotic vacations for couples who wish to experience the beauty and extravagance of the noble lifestyle while creating a deeper bond in their relationship. Occasionally, Daniela and Massimo offer trips for Single Successful women, looking for a week away to pamper their spirit and learn to attract the man that they desire. Visit www.LaBellaVitaLifestyle.com for information on upcoming events and to book your spot.
